i am doing my best to make him stop but so long no success.
Just stop! You will never succeed at this Sara, never. If it was possible for us to stop our loved ones from drinking we would not be here!!!
And here's another reason to stop mistakenly thinking you can get him to stop: you are putting a whole lot of your precious life energy into a black hole. All that wasted energy could work miracles for YOU!
You say you cannot leave him right now? OK But you can actually make changes in yourself, starting today, that will make YOUR life much much less miserable. If you work at fixing YOURSELF instead of him you will in fact regain the JOY & POSSIBILITY of life.
I had to take the focus completely off my Alcoholic loved ones. No one could do that for me. I had to make an effort to focus, each day, each minute, on myself and on my problems, my future, my goals, my dreams.
Alanon really helped me alot with this. Can you try an AlAnon meeting?
The pattern of "helping" the alcoholic to continue functioning, feeling trapped in the relationship, feeling so low you wish you'd never wake up, is fairly common in spouses of alcoholics, it's just one of the many horrible free gifts that come along with addiction. It will not only suck your Hubby in it will wrap its tentacles around you and try to drag you under too!
Nothing changes if nothing changes. YOU are the only person YOU can change!
peace,
b