Be kind to yourself, you are in a tough situation and are handling it as best you know how. Don't hate yourself. I was depressed for a long time with my exab and honestly still am a little today but every day that passes is a day that I'm a little less miserable. You know why? Because I don't associate with him anymore! It was like having a 160 pound cancerous tumor removed from my side! I feel like a new woman, am slowly recovering and can see a brighter future than I did when I was with him. Things that a month ago would've driven me to sobs don't anymore. I find myself laughing, REALLY laughing with friends and family. I can sleep through the night and my stomach is not in knots when I wake up in the morning. All things I'd lost in my time with the axbf before I made boundaries.
It's been a little over a month for me, too. Are you going to al-alon meetings? Seeing a therapist? Maybe you should think about some healthy boundaries you can establish to make it all a bit easier. I still have to see my ex at work but I have set up some serious boundaries (for him and myself) and it has helped me tremendously!