My sponsor and I were friends before I asked her, well I didn't even ask her because I have an issue with the word sponsor, I have been friends with people and when I asked for them to sponsor me, I started not liking them for some reason, my issues!! Well I spoke to a wonderful woman with much sobriety and we just talked and she described to me a sponsor is like a "mother figure" someone you can pour your heart out to and she will never judge you. Someone you could always go to no matter what, when you are happy she will be happy for you, when you are sad she will be sad for you, but she will always be there for you. Well, that was and is my problem with the word, I haven't had a "mother" in my life since I first picked up and my mom was anything but that towards the end of her addiction, so that was where my problem was, I could be friends with someone, but if they got that close, no way, couldn't handle it. Anyway, I shared all this with my girlfriend lee ann (my sponsor) and then I said maybe you could be my sponsor, her reply was "no way" I don't want you to end our friendship, and then I knew she was probably the right one for me. We have very similar backgrounds in regards to the drugs/alcohol we used and the end of our using was very much the same. She was in the program before a couple of times, the last time, she was very much involved with AA, and after 4 years she married another guy from AA. They were married 2 years and She got pregnant, had the baby, the baby was 1 week old, she came home from hospital with him and found her husband dead from an overdose of drugs, he had picked up again while she was in the hospital, but didn't make it he died. Can you imagine that! She went out again after that big time and just made it back into rooms 3 years ago, her son just turned 12 last month.