I really hope you don't leave SR over this least.
You know me - I talk straight - and I've never seen truer words than these, S.
I am glad for honest feedback, and its what has kept me sober. I dont want anyone massaging my disease.
You may not like what you're hearing, but you need to make changes least - noone else can make them for you. We can support you, but you have to do the work.
No one should be as unhappy as you seem to be by your posts, or for so long - you deserve better than that.
I know it's not all alcoholism for you - I think getting regular counselling - not just addiction counselling - might be a good start.
The balls in yr court S.
D