Originally Posted by josie25

After nine months apart and starting to rebuild my life, I went back to my abf and we have had about six beautiful weeks together until this Monday. He is on a bender again and I have distanced myself all week hoping that it would slow down. I went to pick him up to spend the weekend together and realised that he was still on one, so I said that I would go away until he wanted to reduce his drinking down again. He has told me not to bother coming back as there is no point. I am in that horrible place again where you don't know where you stand. I am not falling apart at the seams, as I actually got quite used to being alone, but i am asking myself why I have chosen to put myself through all this again. I still love him absolutely and am prepared to accept things as they are, as long as I can step away when he is doing this, I just didn't work out the bit about him accepting that this is a good idea when reasonably sober and now in his beautiful irrational thinking, it is all over again. I have learned so much about myself and about alcoholism from this site and want to thank you all for your input. Who knows what happens next, no doubt I will be trying to work my way through it all again with all your help.