Rose,
To get through this, I had to make a fundamental shift in my thinking. In my case, she did have somewhere to go.... rehab. SHE had to DECIDE to go. She was angry because what she wanted to do... stay in the home, get loaded and high, have me pay for it, and have me clean up all her problems, I was not willing to do.
Your husband has choices too. You are not causing his discomfort. His addition is causing this. And you did not cause his addiction. And right now, in his mind, the cost of continuing drinking is less than the cost of stopping. Alcoholism will cost people their marriages, their extended families, their jobs, their savings and sometimes their lives.
I had to accept that unless my AGF hit bottom, she would never have the motivation to stop. And, as long as she was living in the home, she would never hit bottom.
I also had to accept that FOR ME, she had to leave. Living with someone in active addiction was destroying ME and the kids.
My act was one of love. Love of myself, love of my children, and in a very real sense, love for her.
Be strong. Care for yourself.