Hey everyone..
Have been thinking that I am not sure if I belong here any more because I don't feel real true to my own sobriety right now.. You all know that I have had occasional wine, and realized a few days ago that the real clear headed good feeling I had when I was drinking nothing - nadda - zilch - is not there any all the time any more... I think I am blurring my life again with wine... I really have had this on my mind since 7/11 which would have been 6 mos for me.. So even though I am "sober" - and not drinking like I was prior to Jan 11, 2009 - I am drinking in a way that is blurring my life and I guess I really want to stop completely again..
Then I got into our forum and read through the last few days and gee - I like all of you so much and feel like I really have shared something with all of you.. SO I am kind of a flunky from the class, and I am really working on what to do next - and I think I might end up becoming a member of the class of July (if there is one) AND stay around here.. I think I made a decision last January that it is taking me some tries to really come around to carrying out..
Long winded today! Actually realized that some alcohol (a little, occasional - all that stuff) actually makes me a little depressed - and that is not something I have had to deal with in my life.. SO I want back the fresh feelings in my body, mind, soul that I got in January when I started a few month journey of no alcohol at all - followed by 4 months of occasional wine - which never got really bad but is sure not making my life any better.
Enough.. Enough..
hugs to all of you! KB