If my Dad had died from esophageal varices brought on by drinking and I drank multiple bottles of wine because I could not seem to stop, I seriously doubt I would need anyone else to tell me there was a problem in my life needing to be addressed, but in any case, it sounds like you might be following in your Dad's footsteps and in those of others in your family and truthfully, it does not have to be that way. You're young enough to break the cycle, to redefine the family bloodline so to speak. I hope you decide to give it a shot. You might be surprised at how much better life can be without drinking. Welcome to SR, it's a great place and helped me a lot.