Welcome to SR, there are a lot of good people here to help you through this.
You have to want to quit & be ready to completely & fully surrender yourself to alcohol & put all of your efforts into your recovery.
Stay close to SR & keep posting.
Here is a great place to start as to what is happening to you:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence")
There is also an Alcoholism forum here Alcoholism -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/
12-step-support
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/
.