JaneX

I have been with my husband for 16 years. He did not drink at all for the first 10. 6 years ago, he secretly started drinking again. He had 2 DUI’s prior to age 21 and quit drinking at 25 years old because of liver disease. He readily admits to being an alcoholic, but always conceals and lies about the actual drinking. I have never seen him take a drink and he is very, very, rarely intoxicated to the point that it is noticeable. I think he does all of his drinking while sneaking around in the garage or basement.

He has become very clever at deceiving me. I can smell beer from a mile away, so he switched to gin. When I became adept at smelling the gin, he switched to peppermint schnapps and tried to pass it off as the smell of gum.

I usually discover a hidden bottle or some other evidence and know that he is drinking again. Although I am usually standing there with the bottle in my hand, he will insist that he is not drinking. He will suggest that the bottle is an old and forgotten remnant of his past drinking or some other nonsense. Although I know the drinking is a huge problem, the deceit is so much more hurtful to me.

Yesterday, while cleaning, I found an empty bottle hidden under the sink in the basement. He actually tried to tell me the he had found that bottle a week ago, but he thought it was MINE! I am not a drinker, I have never drank, I do not even drink Champagne on New Years Eve. For him to suggest that this bottle belonged to me is completely baffling and insane. He is an intelligent man but this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I am so blown away by this excuse, I cannot think straight.

I try to tell his family that he is drinking again and needs help, but I suspect they think I am crazy or blowing things out of proportion. They will insist that they never see him drinking or drunk. Well, neither do I!

I am completely bewildered. Has anyone else experienced this secret and covert alcoholism?