igottobesober,
i'm with you. it's hard, and there may be set-backs, but we can end it here and now. keep posting, and i found that aa meetings are so powerful because you are looking people in the eye, and experiencing the strength it takes to remain sober first hand. i've only been to two so far, but the residual impact is still with me. honestly, there is a spirit and energy i never would have expected.
be well,
bh