The pain of using must be worse than the pain of being clean for the addict to recover.
For us codies, the pain of staying must outweigh the pain of leaving, and if we look at our situation rationally, without the denial and all of that, I think everyone would realize how much easier it is to go.
I haven't met anyone so far, either in my personal life or in AA, who said that their life AFTER living with the alcoholic was WORSE than their struggles with him/her before they left. In fact, they talk about how much better it is! You only have to take care of ONE person as opposed to TWO, and that's just one reason why.
Originally Posted by
blessed4x 
When I look at all I am doing now I should be exhausted. I have more energy than ever. I know I was depressed, and who wouldn't be. Now I have moments of sadness, anger, hurt. I feel those feelings instead of stuffing them and move on to the next task at hand. As painful as it was to leave, for me it's been a fraction of the pain I felt staying.