Your post made me think back a bit
Before my relationship with my AH I was in a relationship with my older dd father. He was an Addict (I don't think I knew it at the time though, really). I was a lot younger and things were very black and white for me. He was choosing partying, etc over us. I simply told him one morning I will give you one last chance. These are the things I need to see _____, _____,_____. With in 24 hours he had blown us off and gone out to feed his addictions. When he came home that morning @ 6AM, I simply said. That was your last chance. He asked for another. I replied, "I cannot live my life on one more chances". I never looked back or quesioned it. I knew I was doing right by myself and my child.
Fast fwd. to my relationship with my AH. I had a very, very hard time leaving. I was essentially LIVING in "one more chance" land. I already knew how tough if was to be a single mom. I had done it for 5-6 years before I met him. I was tired. I now had 3 kids. I wanted to leave him when I was pg. with the 3rd. It took me till the baby was 20 months old to actually do it. And you know what IT IS WAY BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. Not having a front row seat to the chaos is wonderful. Is it more work??? yes. But some how thing don't feel so hard. I think b/c I am focusing on the kids and myself. The negativity, guilt, and drama aren't there anymore. So it frees up a lot of my energy and mind space.
As far as having enough money, etc. I have been turning it over to my HP (God) and he has been providing me exactly what I need. It is truely amazing.
Thanks for your post and making me think