yeah my experience with 2x4s was tht when they come out i become very defensive and build higher walls.....
for my own expereince... I know that after a couple of years clean....the urge for drugs became very low level....and alchohol was the easy and quick available fix. well it is a drug i guess..but..the point for me was it wouldn't matter what substance it was if it would take me out of awareness it would do.
Now some people think because I no longer really think about using speed i must notreally be an "addict"....but then again i had nor reall desire to drink before i drank....
I do take medications for pain as directed..and it scares me everytime..cause the not being aware of is the draw for me...and any drug can do that.
So... I have found that it is easier for me to simply quit all substances not perscribed by a trusted dr.
Actually being clean and sober may be the utlimate goal, but to acheive that and keep it....and not just wanna die...i have to learn a new way to deal with life instead of using/drinking....It took a while for me to realize that being clean and sober wasn't really of much value to me if i was still in dangerous abusivee relationships, etc.......I've done the train thing..but sober i haven't yet
may take up bungie jumping though
:ghug