Hey Give Love,
The disaproval by family is that I never seem to make the "right" choices. The result is either being ignored or harshly criticized for whatever the given choice is. For example where to work, where to live, whom to date (Dad actually loved the ex until last fall and now keeps asking what is wrong with me to have dated him. Didn't I respect or love myself???? Uh, guess not. Thanks). My choice for going to school was a waste of time, my choice of cosmetics are too costly, blah blah blah.
If I EVER returned that criticism then watch out, beacuse my Dad is ready to fight. Did I mention that I am the oldest of two daughters raised alone by my father who had PTSD and MAJOR anger issues from Vietnam? He is actually a nice and intelligent man to others, but at home he can be scary. With all that I love him very much and appreciate all that he has done for me...strange, contradictions, yes.
I feel/can see that I have moved from feeling abused by my ex to feeling abused by my father. Not physically, but mentally/verbally/emotionally. I see it and have tried to call him out on it. Bad idea. I see it as the root of many of my self esteem issues as a child (and now as an adult), but know that I am the one in control of that. He is not. Distance helps in our relationship and right now there is very little. He observes and criticizes me each day...????