Originally Posted by
Wife2Kids 
Heaping guilt upon guilt upon guilt is an easy way to avoid taking responsibility for your own behavior. He is focusing on what he wants you to do. He wants to control what you do and is being manipulative to get it. You are focusing on what you need to do. He is focusing on what he wants. It sounds like your needs are pretty low on his list. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is not your job to take care of him and you gave him an answer to his question--you need someone--a sponsor is who you need. But that was not the answer he wanted. Perhaps I am jaded from my own experience, but a sponsor will see thruogh all his stuff and he is hoping you will not. You are a much better choice for him than a sponsor and he knows why. He is back to denial.
I agree. If a person is serious about recovery, they don't need anyone to force them to seek recovery....they seek it out and nothing will get in their way. I know this, b/c this time last year, I realized that I was a codependant woman living with an alcoholic man and my life was a nightmare. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I did whatever it took to change my life for the better. I started Alanon and therapy and began my journey of recovery and self discovery and haven't let anyone get in my way. I was committed to saving myself from the insanity of my own making. I had to make a lot of hard, excrutiatingly painful decisions that I didn't think I could endure at the time, but I did what I had to do to save myself.
Kitty,
Just keep replaying that tape in your mind..."Actions, not Words".:ghug