Another Update
Okay, so we've talked twice now. He is on his way home, but he was telling me that he really needed me to be there because it would be really bad for him to be by himself. I reminded him of my reasons for feeling like I cannot be there. He, of course, argued that the Columbus people are not bad for him and are not hurting his recovery efforts. Any time that I pointed out that they drank with him, his only reply was, "It wasn't like that. You just don't understand," yet he would offer no further explanation (because there isn't any).
I explained, very matter-of-factly, that if he truly believes that those people HELP him with his recovery efforts, then he should continue to hang out with them. I told him that I disagree with him strongly enough that I feel that I have to leave because I can't condone his decision. I told him that if he proves me wrong in the future and has a very successful recovery then I will be THRILLED and it will totally change my mind about whether or not he has made the right decision. However, my stance right now is that if he continues to turn to this group of people, and ONLY this group of people, for help and advice about getting through recovery, he will continue to suffer relapse after relapse after relapse. He tried to argue his points again, but I said, "I'm not going to see this your way and you are not going to see it my way. We are going to make each other miserable trying to change each other's minds, and THAT is why we can't live together right now."
Then, later he said, "Okay, I get it. I will stop talking to the people in Columbus...", but then I said, "Don't you dare. Do NOT cut them off just because you think that's what it will take to bring me home. In fact, if you do that I definitely will not come home. I don't want you to always resent me because you gave up a group of people that you considered to be so great. I meant it when I said that if you believe they are what you need, then you need to be with them."
Then, he was like, "Well then what am I supposed to do? I can't be alone right now, Court. Your timing is terrible. I can't just go home to an empty house and just sit with the dogs. I need someone to be with me." I said, "Well, then find somebody to be with you." He asked who and I wanted to yell, "A SPONSOR!!!!", but he's just playing games at this point. He knows what he should be doing and what he should have done when he first got home from rehab. I finally did suggest getting a Sponsor, though, for the millionth time, and he said, "Yeah, like some stranger is just going to come over to my house and hang out with me all night." I said, "Why does it have to be at our house?" He said, "Well, where else would we go?"
I mean, really? Does he really want me to spell out every little detail of what he already knows he should do just so he can dispute it? I wouldn't do that, though. I told him he already knows all these answers.
I have to admit, it is really difficult when he tells me he needs somebody to be with him right now because I WANT to be with him. I just can't. It's more important to me that he figure out what's helpful and what's harmful for him at this point.