Wow. It seems like eveyone here has that issue or has dealt with it.
On paper I sound great, but my self worth (I agree with LTD that the term self worth is more substantive) is shaky. There are many people in the world I don't give a .... about what they think of me, but the chosen few whom I love (family, the ex at one time) I get dependent on what they think of me to define my value as a person. Intellectually I see this, but only after emotionally going through the wringer.
This was not such a problem in life when I wasn't around my family. However, I do think I replaced family's approval/love of me with my ex's love/approval of me. Ex is gone and family disapproves of me, so I am left feeling unworthy of love and this causes lowered self worth. Ahh, the ligthbulb goes off.
I am interested in what others do to improve their self worth and how they maintain it.