What a good question, I wish I knew. Sometimes I think I have improved... I have been working hard on doing things for myself. Funny (read as sad) that I have guilt feelings about doing things for myself that I would totally support if another person said they were doing _____ fill in the blank for themselves.
I have been telling myself that it will get easier if I just keep taking care of me.
I look forward to the responses you get to your question.