kitty: don't know if this has been mentioned, but you need testing for STDs and so does that husband of yours before you get back with him. Also, do you have any precious children who are witnessing this incredible drama? They need protection from it, you know.
I hope these posts are helping you see the reality of the situation. The reality of living with an addict is that they do leave us (as in a separation) but don't even have the integrity to tell us that they've done so - partly because their brains are too fogged up to think in those terms and partly because they don't ever mess up a good enabling situation. So that leaves us with the crazymaking trying to figure out what is going on. What's going on is a brain that is chemically insane who is given the respect by others that is actually only deserved by those living in integrity.