Welcome to SR.
I can identify alot with what you have said. What worked for me initially is that G.O.D. = "G roup Of D runks" or in other words the AA group.
In looking for something spiritual i have read Kevin Griffin's One Breath At A Time. He's a buddhist AA'er, as Buddhists do not believe in a God, i was interested in a Buddhist perspective.
There are also humanist and secular 12 steps posted on this forum.
For me now, the beauty of the steps is that God is a god of your own understanding, rather than a God of Jewish, Christian, Muslim understanding.
When i read the Big Book, i am mindful of the fact it was written in the first half of the 20th century, edited by someone from a Christian background, living in USA. Because of that i have to read it as a Brit, living in the 21st century, as someone who rejected the Christian concept of God because i grew up in a controlling minority religion. So what tends to happen when i read it is a translation occurs, a translation of placing the words in my own unique understanding. There is a fine line however between translating the words of the Big Book to fit into my concept, to actually rewriting the words of the Big Book. The message is still there, but now i apply it me, rather than apply it to a Christian.
God and a higher power to me now is an experience that i can choose to tap into, rather than an entity.
Paul