Thank you for sharing, poppy. Please don't beat yourself up. Many of us relapsed or at least considered relapsing. Learn from it and move forward. And if artificial sweeteners help you now, go for it. Better than booze for sure. What I discovered for myself is sugar-free cranberry juice with sparkling water makes me feel better about not picking up liquor. So create new non-drinking routines for the situations when you normally drank before.
Good luck!
OB
:ghug3