Can't rule out evil. The devils best trick was making the world think he doesn't exsist. Many people over the years said that drugs and drinking weakens your mind and opens u for evil. Kinda makes sense.
If u have a religion go talk to the minister. Rotate differnt churches until u find the help u need. It's only in the last century people went to drs most just went to their minister.
U really need to do two things forgive other and the hardest one forgive yourself