So in my other "normal" relationships in the past I could just say, "hey, you hurt me" and the person would realize it was a problem and they'd likely try to change.
But with XAB was sitting there month after month after month saying "this is not acceptable" & "this is not acceptable" but
I wasn't listening to myself. If it were unacceptable, I would have protected myself by moving away from this man who was consciously acting in such a way as to hurt me, hurt himself, & others.
I think most of my frustration, looking back, was really with me. Long long after I realized
he wasn't listening to a word I was saying I realized
I wasn't listening to a word I was saying either!!
Bottom line, I agree with Suki:
Time to cut the ties and let him live his life the way he wants to. You should concentrate on what makes you happy and strive for that.