(((((Soos))))) I'm sorry I just saw this thread, I was away for the weekend. I'm so glad you came back here to talk to us, and that you want to get help again. I don't know much about healthcare options in CA, but I would say don't let the fear of being judged keep you from getting the help that you need. It's the unfortunate reality that the healthcare system doesn't have a good understanding of how to treat addiction patients; but that doesn't mean you need the help any less! I agree that you should go to the ER if you feel you are in danger - detox is no joke (as you know).
I'm so glad I met you here, I'm so glad you came back, and I know you can beat this again. Email me anytime if you need anything or just want to vent.
:ghug3