Hey, most things worth doing are hard, Its what makes them worthwhile. You did the right thing even if it wasn't the easy thing, or the fun thing. It gets better, just takes time, mindfulness and committment. Moment by moment you get it done, you become a sober warrior in the battle against addiction. You'ne got a lot of comrades walking point and watching your back.
“For practitioners or spiritual warriors—people who have a certain hunger to know what is true—feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
From: When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron.