I went to the bbq and as I expected there were a few people hitting the bottle hard/using, others drinking 'normally'. As it has happened to many here, I was offered a drink the minute we got there and often over the 7 hours we were there, but I wasn't really
pushed to do it. I declined, though it was hard. The surprisingly beautiful weather, music, laughter, good natured ribbing, firing up the grill - all stuff I have associated with drinking since time out out of mind - big triggers.
It was a challenge/a bit overwhelming and I thought I might need to leave a couple of times, but I made it through. Not that I didn't entertain the thought of getting completely wasted - I could smell all the alcohol and was stupid and took a few big whiffs of a few of the drinks. But I did not drink. We went and saw a fireworks display and then headed home.
I went for a walk to clear my head and then logged in. I'm still processing everything that happened and trying to figure out how I feel about it (still struggle with id-ing my feelings). I guess I'm just grateful that I didn't give in.
Thanks for listening to me babble.
