When the mornings and days of pain become tiring... try something different.
Do something you do NOT WANT to do... get out of yourself.
Spend some time with people in recovery programs... it's free... and they're everywhere.
Today, tomorrow, every day. Nothing to lose except misery.
Open your mind, open your soul, realize that you are not unique, you are not different.
Until then my friend, choose your own destiny, keep coming back. 