But then when I feel certain that leaving temporarily would be best, I think to myself-- what would everyone else think? how do i explain how a non-violent, financially supportive, responsible man is someone i am leaving?
IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES
That is a full and complete answer to all who 'wonder.' It really is NONE OF THEIR BUISINESS.
Yes, I do believe you will be doing yourself and your children 'harm' by staying at this point.
Please check out the Adult Children of A's forums and do some reading to see how it affects a child into adult hood.
By staying, what are you teaching your children.
Oh, I am not suggesting the D word right now, but a legal separation would probably do you and the children a lot of good, and give you 'time' from afar, to watch his ACTIONS, not his words. Give you time to work on YOU. Should you decide that this is what you need then go far. However, please do not have expectations that this will 'make him see the light.' Whatever action you take, please make sure it is for you and the children.
J M H O
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,