Are you welcome to meet this woman, to participate in the social times they share together?
All marriages are different. My husband and I have friends in common, plus he has some that are "his" and I have some that are "mine." But we are always welcome to meet & mingle (we often just choose not to). In our marriage, if there were private conversations and meetings and vague "out of town gatherings" at which one or the other was not welcome -- especially if it involved someone of the opposite sex, and especially-especially if it involved someone of the opposite sex with whom my partner had admitted emotionally intimacy -- that would not be acceptable.
You may be quite comfortable with this. But it's not something my husband or I would be comfortable with, regardless of the intent of step 3. I turn my life over to the care of God as I know him -- but I use the eyes and ears that He gave me to know all the facts.
In my opinion, when there is transparency, there can be trust.
I wish you and yours the best in your recovery programs!
