Originally Posted by
Waterman 
As I have mentioned before, I dwell on negatives, instead of positives. Can't seem to help it. The first thought of every waking morning is a torturous re-living of what my wife put me through 21 years ago, right after our marriage began. I have held a strong, mostly hidden "anger" for her ever since, and I can't seem to shake it...Being sober for over 2 months may have un-masked my bitterness. Can't decide if I should see a therapist or counselor. Too late for anything else. Do counselors and therapists really work? I've had dealings with a couple of them before, but I got the impression that some try to "break" you more, so you will keep coming back for more "repairs"......
I've had good therapists and bad therapists. What I've done in the past is a mini-interview prior to actually seeing one, in order to see if it's a good fit. I have asked for a few minutes of time to just briefly tell them what I am looking for and to see what their philosophy is around things that are important to me. If they are not willing to give me three to five minutes of their time to do this, I don't see them. I have had some results with this approach. Now, this only applies to therapists and counselors, as any shrink is certainly not going to do this (considering a whole visit to them is about 10 minutes).
I think the right therapist can help greatly, provided one is prepared to do the work.