I am new here to.
One thing I learned thru my husbands treatment facility was: "If our love could make the addicts clean then everyone who is an addict would be clean."
I can't tell you how many times I thought I was doing the right thing. I found that being a wife and an enabler is a fine line.
Someone else had mentioned you can't help him, but only help yourself. That took a lot heartbreak for me to finally figure out!