I got up this morning a couple of hours before work. It was peaceful. I poured myself a cup of coffee, sat down at the computer to check email and read on SR.
I no longer take a front row seat to addiction.
I was married to an addict, and I tried everything in the book to get him to change, and to no avail.
I have a 31 year old daughter who's an addict, and I tried everything in the book to get her to change, and to no avail. That included taking her in temporarily after a lengthy jail sentence for felony drug possession.
She attended meetings with me (I'm also in recovery), said all the right things, and in less than a month, she turned my household upside down. She even drug her then 15 year old sister into her insanity.
She is no longer welcome in this home, period.
As a recovering addict/alcoholic myself, I did NOT make the necessary changes to my life until I hit a bottom hard.
That bottom came when I was face down in the dirt, and no one was willing any longer to pick me back up.
You're the only one who can decide if you want to stay in that front row seat, or if you are going to walk out of the theater.
My life is so full and incredibly blessed since I left the theater.
You might want to check on a couple of books, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. They are both excellent reads.