Ack, Zencat I feel for you. My father's side of the family is flaming Southern Baptist (several are ministers). Mom's side is Catholic and I was raised as such. However, by my mid-teens I could see past the illusions the church created and attempted to reconcile the contradictions it asserted...to no avail.
I identified as an atheist for a long time before realizing that a certain amount of 'faith' was required for that as well, and that atheism can be just as destructive as organized religion.
I do have a concept of a higher power...but its more like Spinoza's idea of a universal life force rather than a personal god that loves/hates, has a plan, and is actively involved in people's lives. It works for me.
Other than Spinoza, a good book that helped me to clarify my own views was by Charles Hartshorne:
Omnipotence and other Theological mistakes
But to add to the discussion, religion/god/higher power doesn't play a significant role in my sobriety. That would only complicate it. I just keep it simple and make the right choices.