So, what 45 definitions are your own, Boleo?
Does the suggestion that you have 45 different and unrelated definitions of recovery seem disrespectful to you?
Could you maybe just mellow for a bit? Collect your thoughts, try to give your brain a little peace - not approach recovery as a competitive sport? I think you're pretty cool from the posts I first saw from you. I hope you get to a peaceful place soon. That's what I want for me too.