When I was 24, I started dating a 19 year old.
She was more mature and indepdent than me, actually.
She knew when to stop the "party", and that when it
Was apparent that I had an addiction problem.
She did something for me at that time that I couldn't do for anyone,
She stayed with me and shpwed me a healthy lifestyle
And tons of self control. She broadened my horizons,
While I stayed sober, but it was not a happy 4 years until
She felt I wasn't changing fast enough, I didn't stay in shape
Like she did. I didn't practice enough yogaa, or care as much
About keeping the place clean or eating whole organic foods
Superfoods, and things like that.
Of course I am painting a picture here,
I just wanted to express how much I owe to her
For giving me 4 years of positive examples,
Care, support and devotion to me. Of course,
I never was a mooch or became a complete slob,
I did the bare minimum to keep her happy.
She deserved better, she knew it, she left me.
Then I became completely depressed, and I was free to,
And did, become the mooch and complete slob I wanted to be.
A year of that has made me find recovery and things are getting
Better, and I am able to achieve my full potential.
I can't say whether this would happen sooner, or in a better way
Or worse way if she didn't stay with me,
All I know is I blew it, and I'm sure she held
Resentments about holding her back.
She has forgiven me, mostly, I think.. but looking back,
It would have been better to heal on my own
While she did the same, and if thingss were really meant to be,
As they seemed, we could get back together again.
Butim sure she regrets holding on to me,
When I was chasing more exciting things,
As I do somewhat regret chasing those things,
Now that I cannot hold on to her.
A good relationship, is sharing life and oneself,
Not needing somebody. I've discovered that
Needing someone is a horrible reason to be in
A relationship. I hope this makes sense to you.
Things meant to be, will happen.
He's got to let you fly free if you're confused,
An
d if you go back to him,
Hell know that you'll love him forever.