McGowdog

Perhaps.

I would go into this with an open mind and a question or three. Maybe he's an alcoholic. Maybe he's a continuous hard drinker, who if given a sufficient reason to stop or moderate, he can. If he's too far advanced, he's an alcoholic who cannot moderate the amount once he starts nor can he stay away from the 1st drink for long on his own power.**

Either way, it is not your fault... not now, not ever. You need to decide for yourself and your family and your household, including your children... what must be done if things get worse.

If it turns out he's not an alcoholic and just a hard drinker, he can stop or moderate and problem solved.

But if he's the real deal... it only gets worse.

Then if that's the case, he's got to get to the place where he hits a bottom and/or comes up against some kind of life and death choice. Circumstances and frothy emotional appeal "seldom suffices." In otherwords, there's no ultimatum you can put on him to "change".

So knowing that, don't beat yourself up. Alanon? What do you think of it? Have you considered it? You can get free of his situation whether he changes/recovers or not. There's a chapter in the A.A. book called "To Wives". You may find something useful in there. It does good to describe the severity of the alcoholics' plight. My wife read it and thought it was BS. She said, "If you pulled any of the kwrap in there, I'd be or you'd be gone!"

**Is he an alky? It is as simple as this; can he control the amount once he starts to drink? Can he stay stopped or away from the first drink for very long on his own power? If he can do neither of those... things look pretty grim.

If he chooses recovery, and if he chooses A.A., I hope he gets in with a group who actually does steps and aims for "recovered." If that happens, life can take on a new meaning for you, him, and your whole family in a positive way.

I hope things turn out well for you and soon.