welcome rmm!
I too have found al-anon helpful in my alcoholic marriage. It helps me focus on things I CAN change - ME!
like AA, it is ANONYMOUS, no one is giong to run out of a mtg saying "Guess who I saw!?" - Mtgs usually meat in churches, you can always just say it's a church mtg if someone asks ------
my mother refused to go to al-anon or to let us kids go, for fear that "THEY" would find out my father was an alcoholic (he was a big-wig in town) --- trust me, they already knew -----------------
I am an alcoholic and I married an alcoholic - we are both in recovery and I try to work both programs - NO ONE can "make me" drink --- they can make me leave the room, the house, the relationship, but they can't make me drink because DRINKING IS MY CHOICE - PERIOD
welcome to the forum, it's a good place
Blue