benham

Welcome and good vent! Those really are cathartic, so don't stop . I found that pushing all those pent up feelings out started the process of discovering who I am.

I have found that I am supporting my AW the most by working my own program and letting her work hers. I see the change in myself and I see that I am truly starting to get better. To answer your question, I am supporting my spouse by finding peace for myself.

Re-read the part where he regretted telling the truth to you. My wife used to say stuff like that and I would have rather had her hit me. It would have hurt less.

This is what got me to Al-Anon. My wife entered treatment but would not call herself an alcoholic. I knew even then that if I talked to her about alcoholism or anything like that, it would turn into a fight or she would just deny it and leave the room. I, however, knew two things: my wife drinks a lot, and I am affected negatively by this. To me, that's enough for "admission" to Al-Anon. When my wife wrote to me from treatment and said that she is an alcoholic, that's when I became a "full fledged" Al-Anon member.

Those behaviors he is displaying are common for alcoholics, but that doesn't really matter until he admits it.

My belief is that every child deserves at least one sane parent. I hope by now you know that you can't control your husband, but that you can work on yourself. I'm sure most everybody here would love for your children to have two sane parents, but nobody can control your husband except for him. You can be the sane one, you have the ability. You may need help along the way from a counselor, but that's okay. You are worth it, and your kids deserve it.