Your husband is being extremely unfair, but then, most alcoholics are. His recovery is on HIM, not you. You can't make him drink. He chooses to drink. He will either choose recovery or he won't. If he does make the choice to embrace recovery, he needs a plan and a program of some sort. I hear the AA steps are great on helping people assume responsibility for their own lives. There is also a program for friends and families of alcoholics called Alanon. You will also do step work and will lean what is your responsibility and what is not. You do not have to put up with this crap and that's what it is. (((HUGS)))