You know, if you feel that your relationship with your husband results in a degradation of your quality of life or mental health, you CAN give yourself permission to make whatever changes you need to improve your health. You and only you are the executor of your life. You can't change what other people do, but you can govern what you do.
We are often chained by "rules" or "principles" or "loyalties" that turn out to be self-imposed prisons that confine us.
Great first step venting here and beginning your journey toward better mental health and quality of life.
Sending encouragement,
CLMI