Why should anyone care about me? I certainly don't give a crap about a single person in this world right now.
I've been reading your posts for quite some time and what often comes through is
ego. You seem to separate yourself from others, like you are somehow different from everyone else. I was like this for years and for the life of me I could not put down the bottle.
We are typical alcoholics. Your alcoholism is not unique. I do care what happens to you. So do many people on SR and in the rooms of AA.
I remember that you recently had 6 months (?) of sobriety. So you know that it can be done. Surrender to your alcoholism, work an honest program & get the help you need (medical & otherwise).
Praying for you.