Hello all....I was away from my computer again all weekend....I feel like I have no time to do anything!!! Hope everyone is hangin in there...I have to read back to see what's going on with everyone...but I hope all is well and still moving foward.
The "alcoholic" voice in me is starting to speak up again.....I have no control over these thoughts that pop into my head....I won't even be thinking of drinking and then out of no where my thoughts are taken over by the idea of it. Of course I recognize this, I have for years...It still just amazes me that something that makes me so miserable and has ruined so much in my life still can invade my mind and try and get me to go back to it---and for a spilt second I actual ponder it.....I know this time I can not ponder these thoughts, I can not even allow myself to continue the thought about it, cause eventually I will do more than just allow myself to think about it, I will talk myself into thinking its ok to actually do it. So pathetic, I can't believe what a hold it has over my subconcious. It's like I can't control my own thoughts sometimes.....BUT I can control my actions, and that's what i have to concentrate on until these haunting thoughts leave.
Thanks for listening
STAY STRONG....and remember all the reasons you want to change your life.....I hope this gets easier as more time passes!!!