Hi Paul,
I always enjoy reading your posts as I find many similarities in our experiences with AA & recovery.
I had the same concern as you.
The reason I joined AA is to recover but I do hear many oldtimers talk like we are going to stay sick & be dependent on AA for the rest of our lives. Shares of this nature are not in the majority but given that they are coming from people with years of sobriety, it is almost seen as truth.
At my meeting today, one oldtimer shared how his alcoholism is "cunning, baffling, powerful...
and patient" and another shared that he will
always have his "alcoholic mind." Of course, others in the room nodded in agreement.
This is NOT what I read in the Big Book. The very first sentences in the forward are:
WE, OF Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
I am recovering from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and the book is showing me how! It does NOT say that my alcoholism is waiting patiently for me to start missing meetings or that my mind will always be f***ed up. If this was what the program was all about, I would quit AA and go to counselling or something. I want to recover!
What really helped me get past my doubts is to ALWAYS look for my answers in the Big Book. In meeting rooms, I take what is consistent with the book & leave the rest. And there is some stuff in the book that simply doesn't resonate with me so I put that aside for now.
I don't have any more concerns about becoming dependent on AA. I am a grown man and I can think for myself (e.g. not take what I hear in meeting rooms as gospel). "Practicing these principles" keeps me spiritually fit. I don't have to be scared of alcohol or my alcoholism. And my experience is consistent with the Big Book!
Take care,
Don
BB quote from the 1st edition of the BB.