Originally Posted by
naive 
silkspin-
i don't really feel that intimacy should be over analyzed. why not give it a try? and see how you FEEL?
Lots of great perspectives! However, I am with naive because of what you revealed. I don't believe you over analyzed. Sounds like you were asking in wonder before you over analyzed.
Quote:
I have felt sparks at times but that just may be because I've gone without for so long.
It sounds as if you trust him and are respecting him as to his person and behaviors outside the bedroom with you and child and him in basic responsibilities. Sexual intimacy takes time to grow again just like communicative intimacy. It is also a language we use to speak to each other with.
The feelings may also grow here as you enter back into the practice of the sexual language, especially with knowing it is being expressed to you without a third party in the bedroom too. ( no alcohol in his system any longer) My question is is there enough trust today? Then tomorrow more feelings may grow.
:-) I say the first time around let him do all the giving and you all the receiving. lol... so don't 'give' unless you will receive from it. ( It won't be selfish as you are giving as to the totality of the big picture if you open back up the sexual relationship.:-)
love tammy
ps: In 21 years of marriage there was a time intimacy was very low,( because of his drinking) but then came back and better with the years he decreased alcohol use and grew in communication. However, he never stopped drinking so negative progression returned. More then sexual intimacy is now lost because of his progression with continued alcohol abuse. Sexual intimacy was the last thing to go in our relationship. For me it is beyond return, a major reason I want a divorce. For me a marriage where you don't want to have sex with your husband because there is no intimacy outside the bedroom means there is no special bond in my marriage. All the intimacies outside the bedroom i can develop with anybody. But I can only develop sexual intimacy with my husband. It is what makes the marriage relationship different from all other relationships, there is a romantic connection. ( note: if sex was impossible for health reasons or something the romantic want would still be there for the husband I was bonded too.)