I agree with Anvil.
It has taken practice and persistence, but I am starting to really feel a sense of inner peace and happiness that does not depend on my ABF's mood of the day. Sure, a particularly nasty mood of his can derail me, I'm working through those days well and one day distance and a no contact declaration by me will keep those days from cropping up, but it's so much better than it was.
I am finding far more humor in everyday things. I smile more. I'm more chatty with people when I am out and about and it doesn't feel forced. I just feel like chatting and for a reclusive soul like me that's huge.
I find I am more sympathetic when things go wrong in his day (things that would suck for anybody) and find I can offer condolences but not get dragged into the mire when he turns to quacking or "blamestorming." And I don't take on his misery over things. Just because he confides something to me that's troubilng him, I don't stew over it anymore. If advice is requested, I now encourage him to ask his buddies or look for answers himself citing I don't have his perspective to offer help, sorry.
When my emotional health runs on its own rails and isn't directed by anyone else's emotions, I can feel a difference.
Alice