OK, that's a BIT better, although the caffeine prohibited a REAL sleep. Anyways, talking about sleep (a major topic on this thread
along with long grass), when I was drinking, when I would sleep (pass out, let's be honest here), I wouldn't dream (that I could remember), but would wake up at 3 a.m. (almost to the minute) and the panic would set in...what did I say/do...well, I'm sure I'm not unique...but now, I just love to go to sleep and look forward to my dreams (which I DO remember now) and have fun (and sometimes not) trying to figure out where they come from. It's like watching a movie, without the popcorn.
I'm still scratching my head over the nuclear bombs, but I do know that I went to bed somewhat agitated over a few minor situations. I have real trouble distinguishing between things I should let go of, and situations in which I need to set boundaries. A lot of my recent efforts have been towards reestablishing (creating?) a sense of self (as opposed to being eternally other-directed), creating a better balance in my being, so to speak. I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope sometimes, being VERY conscious when I lean a little too far one way or the other. Either way...being too into self...or too outside of self makes me feel out of whack. And I also know when I'm "centered". Sometimes I feel like a motor boat...I've got to trust the engine (letting go, going with the flow), but I am responsible for steering and making course corrections.
*sigh* See what happens when I lie in bed....thinking......
The irony here is that I don't even know HOW to drive a boat. Hmmmm, that's kind of funny...
