I guess my question was more about how to placate an alcoholic then how to get out of an abusive relationship. I know I have to leave, but I can't right now. I have tried arguing back, to show him he's wrong (I'm really not a b or anything else he calls me), but that makes his comments worse. I've tried saying I won't talk to him when he's like that, he says I won't talk because I know he's right, which he'll go on and on about, and that makes him do it more. What makes people like him "happy"? If I constantly give in, agree with him, have sex with him, then he thinks the way he treats me is good, because he got what he wanted, and it gets worse for me. I think he has issues from childhood that cause him to act that way (the reason he started drinking at 12 was because his parents were married, he thought happily, then his dad left and "came out of the closet" to him when he was going through puberty. He's from a very "macho" hispanic family. His cousins, uncles started asking him if he was gay too, like his father. He started to blame his mom for "making" his dad gay. Then at 14, his father died from HIV. By then he was a full blown alcoholic. Now, I think he overdoes the "macho" by feeling like he has to put me in my place, he's the boss, he controls everything, he works (when he can find a job - he said part of the reason he's drinking again is because he's depressed about not taking care of his kids). I don't know if he hates women, me especially, or if he's trying to prove he's straight by being too (what he thinks is) manly. He claims he wants sex constantly, even if he obviously isn't "ready" yet, and it's getting old. He has no idea what a real marriage is like. He has no male role models, just his uncles, who he no longer speaks to. His father was rarely home, and when he was, it wasn't a "normal" relationship with his mother. Does this make sense?