cg85756

My husband is an alcoholic. He has been since he was 12. He's 31 now. He can stay sober for years, and then will start drinking again. When I first met him, he hid it well. Now I have trouble trusting him when he is sober. He has been abusive when drunk. I've had him arrested for the abuse, but have taken him back. He hasn't been physically abusive in years, but after the last time he stopped drinking (Sept 2007 while in jail for DV) he started acting different. He has always had a job, working full time and at times a second part time job. He is currently still on probation, until Sept. He is now only getting tested for alcohol once a month. He was getting tested 4 times a week at a drug testing place, and by his PO once a week. I think he was sober at that time, but he wasn't acting sober. He was verbally abusive, calling me vulgar names, insulting me, copying what I said in a weird high-pitched voice, saying he was helping me by letting me know what I sound like, and when I tried having conversations about serious stuff, if it was something he didn't want to talk about ("Why do you leave the house at 5am and get home at 6pm 5 days a week if you only get paid for 40 hrs?") he would avoid conversation by talking over me, interrupting me, or walking away saying "I'm sober. I have changed (yes, he got sober and got verbally mean), you're jealous because I'm sober, you have to trust me" He also started hiding paychecks, changed his password on the bank account so I couldn't check the activity/balance. I'll admit that when I try discussing something and get treated in the above manner, I yell. It's not my personality to be quiet, passive, and agree with everything he says or does, I don't like being treated like a child. So anyways, he was laid off last month, looked for a job for a couple days, didn't get hired, and started hanging out with an alcoholic friend who is 35, childless, and still lives with mom & dad, while drinking and using his own unemployment check as drinking money. So hubby is now drinking, calling me drunk from this guys house, staying away all day when our kids incl. a one year old, need milk/diapers, while driving our only vehicle drunk, and blaming me. If I didn't yell so much, he wouldn't drink. If I had sex with him every day, he wouldn't drink (he has raped me in past, I no longer like sex, especially when we have no emotional connection, and being called names). So my question is, has anyone had an alcoholic act "drunk" when sober, so they can be accused of drinking, so when they do drink they can say "I'm not drunk, you've accused me before and were wrong, you're wrong now" or have they become so mean when sober that you can't stand to be close, just to have them use that as a reason to drink? I feel set up, but don't know if I'm being paranoid.