New & In Need of Some Support
Where to begin?
Hello everyone,
I am new to the forum and I have just freshly come out from under the denial I have been living in: My mom is an addict. I'm 23 years old and really confused, guilty..and well more confusion. I have just accepted the fact that my mother is an opiate abuser after having been addicted to codiene for the last 23+ years. I guess I am confused because I feel like I have been living this crazy life that has been presented as "normal" this whole time. I feel like I am just waking up out of a life-long sickness and can see everything now with a new set of eyes. And I am more upset because I don't even have my mother to discuss it with...instead she does not want to hear it.
The last few years my mom has been in and out of the hospital with a "mysterious illness"....which was always frustrating because I knew it was from the bottle of Tylenol 1's she downs daily...however, her and her boyfriend would have the doctors runs 100's of test threating it might be cancer or some other life threating mystery illness. Well, I am not playing this game anymore. The truth is she goes into the hospital because she has diarreah, sweats and vomits to the point she her stomach bleeds....otherwise known as a withdrawl....the hospital with then make her "sicknees" go away with a morphine drip and within a few weeks she is sent back home and we repeat this cycle. The last time, 2 weeks ago, that she was released form the hospital they sent her home with fentanyl patches (another opiate based drug - and one she weaned herself off of a while ago having been addicted to them). I don't want her taking these patches again but she swears when she runs out that she won't be taking anything anymore. Well, I know flat out this is not true....because she will die if she just stops taking her pills....and I know she won't deal with the sickness. So, me being tired of this cycle and wanting to step out of the denial, confronted her other I believe she is a drug addict and she needs to stop taking the fentanyl patches right now. Well she just lost her marbles and I have not spoken to her since. She even had her boyfriend contact me and he told me to just leave her alone. I know when I am doing is right, but I feel like I am fighting alone.